The Update

It has been too long since I have posted something in my little space on blogspot, a blog of mine that shows more sensible and things I have a mere point on. I love this world of mine, and I miss it. A lot has change also, since the last time I post something here. Your Faye was shitty, had anger issues, heartbroken, hated the world, and her always bitch self. But now? Girls. Let's party. Your BB Faye is jolly than ever, still has her anger issues, but a man to fully understand her all the way and support her.

His name is Noel Bryan Rimando. He's a normal person like anyone else people. He's not a bad ass from a alley, he's no rich man, he's no fucking guy in the movies. But he's a sexy geek from my dreams come-true. U DON'T WANT ME TO START TALKING ABOUT HOW WE STARTED. BUT SURE lol

He's also a blogger, like me. (I should have dated more bloggers in my life than school mates) Normal bloggers actually talk more, and are good people to talk to. He admitted he didn't want to talk to his love life, and other stuffs that would make a girl think "He's not ready for a relationship, he's still mingling" But the talk never stop. Good conversation always leads to something, and that something was something like a realization and into mature relationship. Not everything starts like that, something so clear and smooth. No fucking complications.

But more to our show-like relationship like is more serious than ever. I'm going to talk about that in the near future. Together with my Thesis rants, AND HOW SUPERMAN LIKE MY BOYFRIEND IS JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL LOVED AND NOT ALONE. "Awesome boyfriend is awesome, Lucky girlfriend is lucky"

None of my business

I'm so tired. Same doings in a same looking day, though the names of the day may change. And now this. I only look for two ways to escape this tiring life of mine, and actually think there is happening other than school and friends. Which are ;

• Me, in my room. Peace.
• Comforting words from the one you love the most

But just fucking slash the second one. All I can really depend is on myself and weirdly my room for everything to turn out OK. I'll just sleep and in my dreams I wouldn't remember anything. Or I'll just cry my eyes out, sleep, and just wake up to another day. Same. Fucking. Day.

I don't know what I've done. I don't know why my efforts are thrown in the ground like a piece of paper. Am I worth nothing to you? Kulang pa ba? Gusto mo pa? Lahat lahatin ko na? Wag na ako magbigay para sa sarili ko? Kung hindi ka ba naman tanga e, malalaman mo yan na sitwasyon ko ngayon e. Wala na. Yan nanaman ako. Sige. Simulan ko naman mahalin sarili ko ha? Kahit unti? Ha? PAHINGI? HA?

Sige. Salamat. Akala ko ayos na, yun pala. Kayo yung maayos.

Eto nanaman tayo.

Love. Rant. Love. Rant. It just goes together doesn't it?! Parang sinabe mo na walang kanin kung kung walang tubig, walang gamot kung walang sakit, walang malungkot kung walang masaya. Nakakainis naman e. Tapos ikaw lang yung makakadama. Hindi nya alam pagkukulang nya, eto ako magpaparinig na lang.

Mahirap magtayo ng isang relasyon na para sa dalawa na may kasamang pagka-"mature". Sinasabi ng iba para namang mag-asawa na kayo kung ganon, para namang boring, para namang nakakasawa. Pero magrereklamo kayo napaka-manhid, dedma, selfish ng boyfriend/girlfriend nyo. It takes real maturity para pumasok ka sa isang relasyon na alam mo e itratrato mo ang kabiyak mo ng tama pati na ang sarili mo. Hindi ba?

SITWASYON KO? Mahirap sabihin kung ano.

Sorry kung sasabihin ko hindi ako sure kung mahal ako. Pasensya kung sasabihin ko ako lagi naghahanap ng time. At "I'm-so-sorry" kung hindi ko kaya makipag-break sa dahilan na ganun kahit mature ako, o hindi ako tanga. Kasi nakipag-relasyon pa ako, hindi man lang nag work-out, wala man lang may magtitiis. Ganun talaga pagibig e. Lagi may labis at kulang. Sige nga mag cite kayo ng example na equal talaga sila. Kasi kahit saan o tignan may ginawa ka para "i-understand" yang ganyan nya na "attitude". Natutunan mo na "tiisin" yung ugali nya na ganun, at sure ako meron din sya na nagawa na ganun.

Yan lang kasi yun e. Sa "understanding" hanggat kaya pa intindihin, kaya pa ibuga. "We will work this out" kung baga. Pero once na magulo na ang isa, at hindi na kaya intindihin ng isa. Wala na yan. Wala na ~*~spark~*~

GUSTO KO? Unting panahon at effort po.

Para maramdaman ko din na may nagmamahal sakin. Yung may nag-a-alala. Yung habang nakain ka, maiisip mo kung kumain na ba ako. Sa mga simple na bagay na yun. Sana maintindihan mo ako.

PERO KAYA PA DIBA? Hindi ako demanding. Sige, okay lang kahit hindi mo gawin muna.

Pero kelan mo kaya mapapansin yung ~*~effort~*~ ko? Wala ako CP a. Pero nakakatext ako. :) Kaso ikaw nakaibang-sim. (Fail) Lagi kitang bino-blog! Kaso ikaw busy para mag-OL. (Fail part 2) Lagi kitang iniisip, inaalala, napaguusapan ng mga kaibigan ko. :D Pero ikaw mas madami kang ~*~important-stuffs~*~ to do. (Fail part 3)

KONKLUSYON(?) : Mag-tiis ka 'teh. Bleh.